You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
