How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
