Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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