..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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