She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize