I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
