i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
