I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My vagina is officially offended.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
