Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
