you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
