I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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