I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize