I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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