Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
