The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
