I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
