He is such a slut. More and more my type.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
where does the pee come out of this thing
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
