So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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