one two three fourrrrnication!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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