we have pet lesbian snakes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
