I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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