did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
