every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It was confusing and full of hummus
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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