Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
