i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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