whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
