I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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