Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
