these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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