just tell him i said nine months
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
