This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
