Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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