i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
