Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize