when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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