No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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