She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
