I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
