Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
