Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
