We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
