Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
