I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize