I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
