I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
