She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
