direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
