I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
