Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize