Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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