We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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