Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
