ugly people sure do ruin things
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
