When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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