idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
