How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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