He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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