dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
