what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
not ubering you a puppy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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