I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
