dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
