I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
