i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
