that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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