Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
