first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
