Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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