Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh god the rape fog is back!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
