wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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