Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize