I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
