it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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