WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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