here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize