The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize