I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
