dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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