your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
