He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
