office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
