I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dick very happy bro
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
