That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Actions speak louder than pants.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
